I have and have had relationships with a number of people which are built upon assumptions. Assumptions that this person has my best interests in mind, assumptions that they accept me for who I am.
The grim reality is that both of these assumptions are often false. Assumptions do remain though. Assumptions that I will be a certain way, or that I have intentions other than what they are.
People often assume that because they have experienced something in the past, that this experience will be relived. In some cases these assumptions become a sort of willing into fruition. A person might assume that another is upset, and whether they are or not, they push this assumption on to that person. It does not take long before the person on the receiving end of this does become frustrated, due to the assumption that they are upset, rather than what is actually being ashamed of them.
These sort of relationships are far from healthy, as I have learned. There may be some calm waters in between the torrents, but I’m finding that the calmness does not remain.
I was brought up to believe that this sort of relationship is normal, but in adulthood I’m coming to realize that this is simply not the case.
There was a time when I thought I had many friends, and many people who cared for me, but it is becoming apparent that I tend to let those closest to me who will take the most advantage of me.
The power to change this, is actually in my hands. To cut the bad fruit off of the tree is to let the rest of the tree flourish. That is what I’ve learned must be done in these situations and in these relationships.
Very few people truly have my back. Very few people have my best interests in mind. Rather they have their own interests and expectations of what I am to them, and it is quite hard to change this.
It’s rare that I feel this way, but today is certainly one of those days. I know this will pass, but time will only tell if these peoples assumptions of me will change.
Maybe it’s for the better. Most things in life do change, but perhaps this is not one of them.